"My Favorite Blonde" -- David/Viki 2008

[David tells the OLTL audience what led him to work at a diner in Texas]
David: How did I end up in this greasy spoon working for a tyrant? I'll tell you how. I had it all -- dope, dames, and more Hollywood success than I knew what to do with. Oh, and Davidson -- Viki Davidson. I owed everything I had and everything I was to that broad and the winning scratch-off ticket she gave me. Sure, it was only worth a buck, but that ticket was my key to a world whose door had been slammed in my mug countless times before. Vicki's ticket gave me the life I always wanted. For a while. But now I seem to have gotten myself into a little bit of a jam....


[David is mortified when he overhears Natalie flirting with "uncle" Jared]
Natalie: I guess we could stop off at the ranch, find us a spot where no one else is, just you and me.
Jared: A little Buchanan on Buchanan action?
David: (muttering to himself) Oh, Viki. This is going to be at least five new personalities for you.


[Viki is startled to find David in the kitchen at Llanfair]
Viki: David Vickers, do you ever knock?
David: I know how to make a stealthy entrance. Learned it on my TV show "The Supermodel Crime Club." Well, they call it "The Pursuit of Happiness," but I told the producers "Supermodel Crime Club" sounds like a smarter show. Besides, I, uh, kept my key. (pockets key) I'll probably just keep that.
Viki: (chuckling) David, hello.
David: Hello, Viki.
Viki: Oh, wait a minute. What are you doing here?
David: Oh, TV stardom has its charms, but I just couldn't stay away from you, Vik.


[David meets Charlie for the first time]
Charlie: Well, I've, uh, heard a lot about you, David.
David: Did you hear I was on television? You know, it's funny, I haven't heard a word about you. I'm not sure that you deserve this woman.
Viki: Oh, shut up, David.


Viki: What are you doing here, David?
David: Thank God I'm in time for breakfast, I'm starving.
Viki: No, this is not your food and you will not eat it, no.
David: After everything we meant to each other? (to Charlie) The Vikster and I shacked up together for a while.
Charlie: "The Vikster"?
Viki: Yeah, shacked up, not so much, no, no. David stayed with me here at Llanfair one of the many times Dorian threw him out.


Viki: Last I heard, you had a lottery ticket that I gave you and you were on your way doing something wonderful.
David: Aren't you listening? I did do something wonderful. I was on television, and it was all thanks to you. That lottery ticket you gave me turned out to be my lucky charm, but I lost it. And when I did, I lost my lucky streak with it.
Viki: A reversal of fortune. How unusual for you.


Viki: David, you were actually working at the diner?
David: Well, it wasn't that bad. It's not like they made me wear a hairnet or anything.


Viki: Natalie’s on a business trip with Jared Buchanan.
David: Jared Buchanan?
Viki: Yes, turns out Asa had a son that nobody knew about -- another son that nobody knew about.
David: Oh, right, I think I saw something about that on "Inside Scoop."


Viki: David, for the fourth time, what are you doing here? Have you been to see Dorian? Oh, well, of course you're here for Adriana's wedding.
David: Yep, that's it, Adriana's wedding.
Viki: Well, I hate to eat and run, but we all need to get ready, you know.
David: ...because the wedding is today.
Viki: Yeah.
David: Naturally.
Viki: Yeah.
David: So I better go see a man about a toaster. I'll, uh, catch you kids at the church.


David: Oh, Charlie, have you and Viki had "Video and Popcorn Night" under the flower comforter?
Charlie: Well, I'm not exactly sure what you mean.
David: Good.


[David tells Natalie and Jared that he knows Jared isn't a Buchanan]
David: Natalie, did you really think that I wouldn't figure it out? I'm practically the poster boy for long-lost sons. I could've been your uncle all this time. If Todd hadn't found out.
Jared: Todd?
David: Yeah, I had really bad timing on that one. I had Viki going for a long time, and she is one tough cookie to fool.


Natalie: (to Jared) Do you know that -- you know this guy was a donor match when Jessica had liver cancer, and he wanted my dad to pay him $10 million before he would agree to be the donor.
David: Never made a dime off of that.
Natalie: Yeah, because my mom got through to you first.
David: Yeah, and I felt really...what's the word?
Natalie: Guilty.
David: I never want to go through that again.


David: Hey, Nora, don't you stress out about Cole. How about a little kundalini? It'll make you feel better. Just ask Viki.


David: Viki's going to be awfully disappointed in you when she finds out what you were willing to do for lust.
Natalie: I am doing this for her, you moron.
David: For her? How? Oh, I get it, I see what's going on here. If Viki finds out the truth about Jared, then she'll know that he's been sticking it to the Buchanans and she ain't going to like him much, is she? Then she'll find out that you've been doing the nasty with him, and she ain't going to like you too much, either.
Natalie: Okay, we wouldn't have to be doing any of this if you weren't blackmailing us.
David: Yeah, you definitely don't want to see that disappointed look on Viki's face when she knows you've been lying to her. Believe me, I've seen it one time too many.


[Viki finds David and Dorian together at La Boulaie]
David: Hey. Viki. What are you doing here? Surprise.
Viki: David. Oh, David. Don't tell me you've sunk that low. You're back together with her? Oh, my. I thought nothing could make me laugh today.
David: What, Dorian and me?
Viki: Oh, dear.
David: I'm afraid that love boat has sailed.


Viki: Why don't you just tell me where Blair is, please?
David: Oh, Blair's probably still in court.
Viki: Blair is in court, too?
David: Yeah, something about car seats and beatings. You know, what passes for normal around here.


David: Ding-dong. Hey, Viki, my favorite blonde.
[David suddenly notices Roxy is in the room, too]
David: Oh -- Roxanne. Uh, I think of you as an undercover brunette.
Roxy: How little you know.


Viki: I don't know how you can stand it, living with Dorian.
David: Ah -- cheap housing with no benefits, but you knew that.


Viki: I'm sorry, David, it's not your problem.
David: Nah. No. No, you're wrong. This is my problem. Any of your problems are my problem. Viki, there is not a thing in this world that I wouldn't help you with -- except for your multiple personalities. You're on your own with those.
Viki: David, sometimes you are so tactless. But I think I really like that about you.


Dorian: Why don't you try out your entrepreneurial skills on Viki? She'll be looking for companionship now.
David: Viki and I don't have that kind of relationship.
Dorian: Oh, no, of course not. Your relationship with Viki is so very pure. You save the dirty, underhanded part of you for me. David: Now I'm getting turned on.


Charlie: You and I don't really have anything to talk about.
David: Well, sure we do. But before we get to that, there's the small matter of you getting sloppy drunk and doing something I warned you against. You hurt Viki.


[Jonas comes looking for Viki at Llanfair]
Viki: My family is dealing with a tragedy, and we need our privacy, okay?
Jonas: I see.
[David shows up at the door]
David: (to Viki) You and I -- yeah, we've got to talk. I know I'm unannounced. (to Jonas) She doesn't need your life insurance.


Viki: David, no games, okay? I don't know if you know this --
David: I heard. I'm very sorry about Nash.
Viki: Thank you.
[David hands Viki a bear that says "Get Well" on it]
David: Condolences.
Viki: "Get well"?
David: Yeah, it's a re-gift. I came from seeing Charlie.


Viki: Charlie pretended to be someone that he's not. He lied. He lied to me, he lied to everyone. He lied to Rex. He hurt Rex. And then on top of that, he helped his real son, Jared, perpetrate a fraud on my children.
David: Well, yes. Charlie made some bad mistakes. Maybe you can forgive him. You're so good at that.


Viki: David, I can't even see Charlie right now. And, frankly, you know, this is not your concern.
David: Well, I -- I don't know. I mean, I made some bad mistakes in the past, too. Same neighborhood as Charlie’s. When I pretended to be the Lord heir, and married Tina. You forgave me.
Viki: Oh, David, there is a world of difference between my relationship with you and my relationship with Charlie.
David: When I finally came to terms with the fact that you only wanted me for my body, but Charlie -- I think you're in love with that guy. And I admit, at first I didn't think he was right for you, but, you two are good together. You got the kind of thing that lasts. Talk to him. At least hear him out. What harm can it do?


[Dorian is jealous of David and Viki's friendship]
David: You turned on me. And why did you do that? Just because Viki had some laugh at the fact that she thought we were back together? And so you thought that I didn't stick up for you after you insulted me? What would you have me do?
Dorian: We were lovers. Viki was -- is nothing. You owe me more than you owe her, much more. Honor me, not Viki.


Dorian: How do you think your dear friend Viki is going to feel when she finds out you've been taking advantage of my sister? Deeply, deeply disappointed.
David: That's not going to work. Bringing up Viki's name is not going to make me feel guilty.
Dorian: Do you really imagine I think you're capable of feeling guilty?


[Viki is shocked that David married Addie]
Viki: Addie? Why?
David: Why, can you think of a better way to get back at Dorian? Okay, I admit she's not MENSA material, but she is a shrewd woman. She knows exactly what she's doing, and I actually think I make her happy.
Viki: Really? And what are you getting out of this?
David: Well, suffice it to say I'm living large in Llanview, but Addie wanted this marriage just as much as I did.
Viki: So you and Addie are --
David: Are taking mutual advantage of one another.


Viki: David, you know, I take marriage seriously.
David: I did, too -- once.


David: I really hate to see you so sad. You get all teary-eyed, so slouchy. I like it when you're happy. When you're happy, Viki, I'm happy.
Viki: Really?
David: I was happy when you gave me that lotto ticket. Made me feel like a winner. And not because I could just stand to win something. Well, there was that, but -- I was happy because, well, just because you gave it to me.
Viki: Sometimes you know exactly the right thing to say, don't you?
David: Well, then, get happy again. For me.


Charlie: Look, excuse me for barging in, but I really need to talk to you, Viki.
David: The lady's busy.
Viki: It's all right, it's okay.
David: Are you sure? Because I can kick his butt. And by that, I mean have one of Dorian's goons come over here and do that.


[Viki is near death after a car accident]
David: Save Viki's life, and I'll -- I'll divorce Addie.
Dorian: Whoa, I'm really sorry. I -- I may have punctured an eardrum in the crash because I could swear I heard you say that you would leave my sister.
David: Dorian, stop it. Save Viki's life. I will divorce Addie.
Dorian: You must love her very much.
David: Addie? She's got a big heart.
Dorian: Viki!
David: She's my friend, Dorian. I'm sorry if that hurts you. And don't deny that it does, because I know how you can get.


David: (to Dorian about Viki) She's the only one who's immune to me and still likes me. She sees right through me and it doesn't matter to her.


[David is there when Viki wakes up in the hospital]
David: You really had me scared there for awhile. You were kind of a goner, you know.
Viki: So I hear. David, it was odd. It was really odd -- I don't know what it was.
David: Well, obviously you came back for me.


[David runs into Viki at the airport]
Viki: David? What are you doing here?
David: Hi, I'm off to L.A., try my luck again. You don't happen to have any spare lottery tickets, do you?
Viki: No, I'm fresh out.
David: Hmm.
Viki: What happened to Addie?
David: Lesson learned. Love lost.
Viki: Love?
David: All right, she dumped me.


David: Where are you going?
Viki: Africa. I'm going to do some work for the heart organization.
David: Oh. I believe the last time you left town, you found the man of your dreams.
Viki: Yeah. Well, some dreams just don't come true.
David: I'm sorry about that, Viki. I really am. But since you're back on the market --
Viki: Forget it, David.
David: Can't blame a guy for trying. I'll miss you.
Viki: I'll miss you, too. Behave yourself.
David: Now, if I did that, what would happen to the guy that you know and love? I'll be seeing you.


[David returns to Llanview and runs into Viki and Charlie at the diner]
David: Namaste.
Viki and Charlie: David Vickers?
David: Please, that was the old me.
Charlie: And who is the new one?


David: I now go by the name of David Vickeroshi.
Charlie: Vickeroshi?
Viki: You actually changed your name?
David: Oh, I've changed much more than that. Like this humble diner I see before me, I have been transformed.


Charlie: So, you had some sort of a spiritual awakening?
David: Hmm.
Viki: And you really expect me to believe that?
David: I understand you're skeptical, Viki. But you should know this was not an overnight transformation.
Viki: A few days? A whole week?


David: I finally had the answer. What had been disappearing, I believe, was my soul. When I was ready to embrace the truth, I was ready to see the light. I gave up everything I had. And now, I have everything I want.
Viki: I'm very happy that you found yourself on a mountaintop.
David: Namaste, Viki.


David: I have come to atone for the sins I've committed here.
Viki: So you're going to be here quite a while.


David: I must confess to those that I've hurt. That begins with the two of you.
Charlie: What did you do to Viki and me?
David: It's not so much what I did.
Viki: Ah, so much for atoning.