"My Favorite Blonde" -- David & Viki (2008)

[David is mortified when he overhears Natalie flirting with "uncle" Jared]
Natalie: I guess we could stop off at the ranch, find us a spot where no one else is, just you and me.
Jared: A little Buchanan on Buchanan action?
David: (muttering to himself) Oh, Viki. This is going to be at least five new personalities for you.


[Viki is startled to find David in the kitchen at Llanfair]
Viki: David Vickers, do you ever knock?
David: I know how to make a stealthy entrance. Learned it on my TV show "The Supermodel Crime Club." Well, they call it "The Pursuit of Happiness," but I told the producers "Supermodel Crime Club" sounds like a smarter show. Besides, I, uh, kept my key. (pockets key) I'll probably just keep that.


[David meets Charlie for the first time]
Charlie: Well, I've, uh, heard a lot about you, David.
David: Did you hear I was on television? You know, it's funny, I haven't heard a word about you. I'm not sure that you deserve this woman.
Viki: Oh, shut up, David.


Viki: What are you doing here, David?
David: Thank God I'm in time for breakfast, I'm starving.
Viki: No, this is not your food and you will not eat it, no.
David: After everything we meant to each other? (to Charlie) The Vikster and I shacked up together for a while.
Charlie: "The Vikster"?
Viki: Yeah, shacked up, not so much, no, no. David stayed with me here at Llanfair one of the many times Dorian threw him out.


Viki: Last I heard, you had a lottery ticket that I gave you and you were on your way doing something wonderful.
David: Aren't you listening? I did do something wonderful. I was on television, and it was all thanks to you. That lottery ticket you gave me turned out to be my lucky charm, but I lost it. And when I did, I lost my lucky streak with it.
Viki: A reversal of fortune. How unusual for you.


Viki: David, you were actually working at the diner?
David: Well, it wasn't that bad. It's not like they made me wear a hairnet or anything.


[David learns from Viki that Adriana and Rex are getting married]
David: So I better go see a man about a toaster. I'll, uh, catch you kids at the church.


David: Oh, Charlie, have you and Viki had "Video and Popcorn Night" under the flower comforter?
Charlie: Well, I'm not exactly sure what you mean.
David: Good.


David: Hey, Nora, don't you stress out about Cole. How about a little kundalini? It'll make you feel better. Just ask Viki.


David: (to Natalie) Yeah, you definitely don't want to see that disappointed look on Viki's face when she knows you've been lying to her. Believe me, I've seen it one time too many.


[Viki thinks David and Dorian are back together]
David: What, Dorian and me?
Viki: Oh, dear.
David: I'm afraid that love boat has sailed.


Viki: Why don't you just tell me where Blair is, please?
David: Oh, Blair's probably still in court.
Viki: Blair is in court, too?
David: Yeah, something about car seats and beatings. You know, what passes for normal around here.


David: Hey, Viki, my favorite blonde.


Viki: I don't know how you can stand it, living with Dorian.
David: Ah -- cheap housing with no benefits, but you knew that.


David: Viki, there is not a thing in this world that I wouldn't help you with -- except for your multiple personalities. You're on your own with those.


Dorian: Why don't you try out your entrepreneurial skills on Viki? She'll be looking for companionship now.
David: Viki and I don't have that kind of relationship.
Dorian: Oh, no, of course not. Your relationship with Viki is so very pure. You save the dirty, underhanded part of you for me. David: Now I'm getting turned on.


[Jonas comes looking for Viki at Llanfair]
Viki: My family is dealing with a tragedy, and we need our privacy, okay?
Jonas: I see.
[David shows up at the door]
David: (to Viki) You and I -- yeah, we've got to talk. I know I'm unannounced. (to Jonas) She doesn't need your life insurance.


Viki: David, no games, okay? I don't know if you know this --
David: I heard. I'm very sorry about Nash.
Viki: Thank you.
[David hands Viki a bear that says "Get Well" on it]
David: Condolences.
Viki: "Get well"?
David: Yeah, it's a re-gift.


Viki: Charlie pretended to be someone that he's not. He lied. He lied to me, he lied to everyone. He lied to Rex. He hurt Rex. And then on top of that, he helped his real son, Jared, perpetrate a fraud on my children.
David: Well, yes. Charlie made some bad mistakes. Maybe you can forgive him. You're so good at that.


[Viki is shocked that David married Addie]
Viki: Addie? Why?
David: Why, can you think of a better way to get back at Dorian? Okay, I admit she's not MENSA material, but she is a shrewd woman. She knows exactly what she's doing, and I actually think I make her happy.


Viki: David, you know, I take marriage seriously.
David: I did, too -- once.


David: (to Viki) I really hate to see you so sad. You get all teary-eyed, so slouchy. I like it when you're happy. When you're happy, Viki, I'm happy.


Charlie: Look, excuse me for barging in, but I really need to talk to you, Viki.
David: The lady's busy.
Viki: It's all right, it's okay.
David: Are you sure? Because I can kick his butt. And by that, I mean have one of Dorian's goons come over here and do that.


[Viki is near death after a car accident]
David: Save Viki's life, and I'll -- I'll divorce Addie.
Dorian: Whoa, I'm really sorry. I -- I may have punctured an eardrum in the crash because I could swear I heard you say that you would leave my sister.
David: Dorian, stop it. Save Viki's life. I will divorce Addie.
Dorian: You must love her very much.
David: Addie? She's got a big heart.
Dorian: Viki!
David: She's my friend, Dorian. I'm sorry if that hurts you. And don't deny that it does, because I know how you can get.


David: (to Dorian about Viki) She's the only one who's immune to me and still likes me. She sees right through me and it doesn't matter to her.


[David is there when Viki wakes up in the hospital]
David: You really had me scared there for awhile. You were kind of a goner, you know.
Viki: So I hear. David, it was odd. It was really odd -- I don't know what it was.
David: Well, obviously you came back for me.


[David runs into Viki at the airport]
Viki: What happened to Addie?
David: Lesson learned. Love lost.
Viki: Love?
David: All right, she dumped me.


Viki: Behave yourself.
David: Now, if I did that, what would happen to the guy that you know and love?


[David returns to Llanview and runs into Viki and Charlie at the diner]
Charlie: So, you had some sort of a spiritual awakening?
David: Hmm.
Viki: And you really expect me to believe that?
David: I understand you're skeptical, Viki. But you should know this was not an overnight transformation.
Viki: A few days? A whole week?


David: I have come to atone for the sins I've committed here.
Viki: So you're going to be here quite a while.


David: I must confess to those that I've hurt. That begins with the two of you.
Charlie: What did you do to Viki and me?
David: It's not so much what I did.
Viki: Ah, so much for atoning.