"Top-Notch Police Work" -- David/Bo 2003-2008

[David and Dorian have staged a fake robbery of Dorian's necklace]
David: This town has completely gone to the dogs since I was last here! Murder by chandelier, grand theft? What is wrong with you people? This town is a cesspool!
Bo: Well, Vickers. Looks like we're attracting the bottom-feeders now.
David: Explain how harassing me is going to locate that necklace.
Bo: Dorian, if I were you and you wanted to keep the rest of your valuables, I'd steer clear of this guy.
David: Are you insinuating that I'm a suspect here? Please, search me. Search me right here and now.
Bo: As much I would just love to pat you down, Dave, I think that the person that took that necklace has already left this place a while ago.
David: Wow. Top-notch police work.


[Bo has asked Dorian and David how they came to obtain a set of marked bills]
Bo: The silence in here is deafening.
David: Okay, fine. I know where the bills came from. They came from an account that I closed when I first came back to the United States. I was using the bills to pay off a little bet that I had had with Dorian. You see, we were soaping each other up in the shower, and she was rubbing my -- these are details you don't need to know, aren't they?


David: ("confessing" to Paul's murder) I followed Dorian to the graveyard. I wanted to make sure that Paul wasn't trying to pull anything. And I asked him, "Why haven't you left Llanview?" Do you know what he gave me? He gave me the wrong answer. So I killed the little slimeball and I dumped him in the judge's grave. Unfortunately, my -- my brilliant -- my beautiful fiancée, she was on to me. So I moved Paul’s body to the quarry. You know, incidentally, as a side note, it was just pure dumb luck that that quarry froze over.


[Dorian is under arrest...but David isn't off the hook either]
Bo: Oh, David is not leaving. (to David) Now, you claim that you moved the body. Now, whoever did that clubbed Lieutenant McBain -- knocked him out.
David: (confused) ...I don't remember confessing to that.


[Bo comes to see David and Dorian in their jail cells]
David: Psst, Bo. Did you happen to bring a cake with a file -- never mind. Just so you know, we're not talking till our attorney's present.
Bo: Dorian, I spoke to Blair a while ago. She and Todd are getting married tonight.
Dorian: Are they?
Bo: I'm sorry you have to miss it. I know that she'd like to have her aunt there.
David: (loudly interrupting) Yeah, and you can bait us all you want, Bo! We're still not talking.


[David shows up at the police station, offering to help Bo in the search for Blair]
Bo: I don't need this tonight.
David: Ah, come on. I can help you find Blair.
Bo: How?
David: I'm on the masthead at "Craze" magazine. I have access to a national database. Look, how do you think Kelly and I found Ace's birth mother in the first...place. I said that out loud, didn't I? Well, just forget that part.


David: Dorian's beside herself. She won't eat. She won't sleep, and can I tell you what this is doing to her libido?
Bo: No, you can't.


David: Between you and me, under this classy, calm exterior, I'm no good at this. I don't know how to be the man of the house. But, Bo, this is the only family I've ever wanted to be a part of. It sucks to be so --
Bo: Impotent?
David: (gives Bo a "look") Ineffective.
Bo: Better word.


David: I got to help Dorian.
Bo: Then, Vickers, go home. You be with her. So you do what you do best.
David: Oh. Could you be a little more specific?


[Bo is taking some policemen to try to find Blair]
Bo: All right, now, let's go.
David: Bo, don't neglect to turn on your lights and your siren. I will be right behind.
Bo: Ugh.
David: This is a seminal moment for me. I'll be chasing a police car instead of it chasing me. Let's go.


[David has stopped by Bo Buchanan's house]
David: A lot of pillows in here for a police commissioner.


[Asa wants Bo to "frisk" David and Spencer for firearms when they show up at the Buchanan Lodge]
David: What, there's no metal detector built into the door frame?
Bo: Well, look, I don't think it's really necessary. I mean, this is a party, and I don't think these guys are going to try to do anything funny with the commissioner of police here. Isn't that right?
David: Wouldn't dream of it.


[David has been handcuffed and placed under arrest for the killing of Thomas McBain]
Bo: (to John) Vickers is the kid who shot your father?
David: Yeah, that was pretty much exactly my reaction, Bo. It's totally nuts. Can you take these off, please?
Bo: Just shut up, Vickers.


David: Spencer, Bo and John aren't just sitting on their hands right now hoping for the best. They're like pit bulls with a shih tzu carcass.


David: Very impressive, Bo. You and your crew put on quite a show. Haven't seen fireworks like that since the bicentennial. Actually, I don't remember the bicentennial. In fact, I hardly remember the 1980s at all.
Bo: Vickers, I am so happy that -- that you enjoyed yourself.
David: Was that sarcasm? You being sarcastic?
Bo: What, me? No, wouldn't dream of it.
David: Have you been talking to Dorian?
Bo: Dorian?
David: That was her usual retort.
Bo: I'm surprised you haven't been to see her.
David: I can't go to her house. She hung a very handsome picture of me on the front gate with a line drawn through it.


[David turns on Spencer to aid the Buchanans]
Bo: I do appreciate you sharing your theory with me, Vickers. I know that you're not a big fan of my family.
David: I may not love your family, but I hate what's left of mine.


Bo: (to Spencer) The DNA test results aren't in yet, but until they prove otherwise, there's no way in hell I'm related to you.
David: Unfortunately, I still am.


[Bo and Clint are under the mistaken impression that David is Asa's son]
Clint: David Vickers.
Bo: Our brother.
Clint: Bo, I don't know what to do with that.
Bo: Neither do I.


[Bo and Clint watch a video message from Asa, which taunts them about David]
Asa: Think of Vickers as one big carrot. This guy is nothing but a con artist and a snake in the grass.
Bo: He's your son, all right.


Bo: I'm going to go run Vickers through the database at the department.
Clint: Well, if we're at all lucky, he's in a Thai prison somewhere.
Bo: You know, I'm hoping it's a Turkish prison.