"The Good Fortune" -- David/Addie 2003-2007

[David and Addie are playing Scrabble]
David: Here we go. (spelling out a word) So that's four, six, 19 -- why don't I go ahead and give myself a triple-word score. So 57 -- 57-3.
Addie: (looks at board) That says "crazy." You're not supposed to say "crazy." You're supposed to say "mentally disturbed person."
David: You're right, Addie, but I didn't have enough letters.


Addie: The sisters say all good things come to those who wait.
David: Yes, but didn't they also say that St. Theresa grew hair all over her body so no one could look at her naked?
Addie: That was St. Agnes.
David: Why didn't she just wear clothes instead?
Addie: Didn't the nuns teach you anything?


Addie: Dori, did I tell you I saw a monster today and that he looked just like Asa?
Dorian: Oh.
David: While I've had the good fortune of hearing this story several times, I don't think that you've told that story to Dorian yet, Addie.


Addie: The nuns say being vain is a sin.
David: Really? I thought the nuns also said that you should only eat fish on Fridays, and didn't I see you eating a hamburger last week? Hmm? Hmm?


Addie: I don't understand. What -- what happened to the wedding?
David: Well, Addie, the justice of the peace came down with just a little touch of the Ebola virus. They had to cart him off to quarantine, so -- you know, you and I are actually pretty lucky. We could be breaking out in boils right now.


David: (to Blair) "Mama said" what, that Todd said that he was the big hero? Blair, you know how much I love Addie, but she still sends her Christmas list to the North Pole.


David: So, Addie, are you hungry? You want something to eat? I make great toast.


[Blair is missing/presumed dead and no one wants to break the news to Addie]
Dorian: Blair is --
David: Is -- at Disney World.
Addie: Disney World?
David: Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's right. (turning to everyone else) Isn't that right?
Adriana: Uh-huh, that's right. Yes.
Kelly: Right. That's -- don't you remember, Dorian?
Addie: No, she's not. Blair promised me she would take me to Disney World for my birthday, and she would never go there by herself without me.
David: Did I say "Disney World"? I mean, Disneyland. She's at Disneyland.


[Dorian and David are going to have dinner with Addie]
David: (to Dorian) I'll go up and change. I want to make sure that I wear exactly the right thing to the Home for the Terminally Bewildered.


[David is dressed for dinner with Addie]
David: I'm afraid this is too casual for a cafeteria with plastic utensils.
Dorian: News flash -- we're allowed to take Addie out tonight.
David: Ah.


Dorian: (about Addie) You know how long she's been looking forward to this dinner.
David: Yeah, I love chipped beef with gravy.